Saved By Grace

Questions

2010-01-16T18:32:00.000-08:00

For some reasons I have days where I feel completely alone. I don't know why. I am surrounded by an amazing family and generous friends. I have a loving God who is always by my side. But lonliness creeps in. Even when I am trying to put my little ones to bed and they are crying ever so loudly.

Then there are the times when I feel as if I am put on the backburner. My selfishness arrives and reminds me of all of the things I am NOT getting. And why is it that my feelings get hurt so easily? Little things that should not matter tend to really hurt my feelings and send me into a depressive spiral.

Why would a person who has so much to be thankful for feel so sad? What is it that causes these feelings? I wish I knew so that I could stop it. I try really hard to maintain a good attitude, even when things aren't going so well. I know that my God is ever so faithful and will never let me fall. Yet I often feel as though I am falling and falling, never landing. It's not doubt or fear, simply sadness.

Often times when I face these hardships I feel like I am betraying God. I feel as though I am letting other things get in the way of my light. I KNOW God is faithful, I KNOW God will lift me up, I KNOW God is blessing me, and I KNOW God is present. Yet I still feel alone. When did our feelings become stronger than our knowledge? And how do I end this cycle?

These are other questions which plague me:

When is our selfishness justified? For example, if I really want something but getting it may cause another to miss out on something - is that ok? Am I deserved of it? (Please keep in mind I am talking about time and consideration of feelings, not material things) Is it ok for me to want to be put first, or to at least be considered in decision making - or am I supposed to continue on my "giving" path to allow others priority?

Is it ok for me to voice my concerns or should I continue to hold them in for fear of offending someone? How do I know when is the appropriate time to do so?

The other day I did something I was not proud of. I reacted to a situation in a manner that was not pleasing to God. And I got a lecture from God for about an entire day. I could feel Him telling me that there was another way to handle the situation. But for the life of me I cannot tell you what it is. I do know that I had a change of heart and have spent the last couple of days feeling love and respect for the person I offended, and looking at their side in a different light - a more appreciative one. But tonight, those negative feelings are finding their way back into my soul. How do I get rid of them? Permanently! I do not want to live in their shadow anymore. I want to be able to just let it go - literally!

For now all I can do is pray and ask God to continue to guide me and my feelings. He is the keeper of them anyway, I should just ask Him to hold on to them for me and to throw away the key. But perhaps there is another lesson to learn from all of this. I fear God has found in me a person who needs ALOT of learning opportunities - and He is gladly giving them to me! I must be on a scholarship program or something :-)

The good news is that tomorrow is another day (I'm a sucker for Scarlett) and today is over. So now I say goodnight to all of the negativity that has seeped it's ugly head into my evening and give it to God, all wrapped with a pretty bow. Even ugly things need to feel pretty sometimes.......

Thankful

2009-12-12T08:48:00.000-08:00

To say I am thankful is an understatement. I am forever grateful for all of the gifts that have been bestowed upon me. God has truly blessed me and I feel so fortunate that He has chosen me for these gifts. I mean, who am I to deserve such blessings? Why does God consider me so special?

But that is the cool part - God considers all of us special. And here's the kicker....for no apparent reason. Just because. How awesome is that? All we have to do is accept Him and love Him, and trust Him, and seek Him. That's it! The price has been paid.

God has decided that we are each worth His love and grace. I love it! And I love Him.....thank you Lord for each and every one of my blessings, I count them everyday!!!!!

Giving back to God....

2009-12-10T19:14:00.000-08:00

Children are such a blessing from God! And like God, mine continue to amaze me daily. There are days when I ache for them, I feel so disappointed in myself because I can't be there ALL the time (at least when I feel they need me the most, or I need them!) I can feel my heart being torn in half, only to be whole again when I am reunited with them. Especially on trying days! Oh and the guilt. How many times do I go through my day consumed with my work and not having them on the top of my list at a given moment - only to find out that they had a bad day! While my baby was crying and upset, I was thinking about other things. And I ask God "Why must I be away from them?" His answer...."Because other people need you, I need you to be there for others". I have to trust that this is His will. He has provided me with caregivers for my children to take care of the aches and pains throughout the day so that I can be available to help others see Him. And while I love what I do and feel it is my calling, I can't help but feel guilty for not being available to my children 24/7.

But my angels always seem to know just what I need and when I need it. Regardless of how bad or stressful my day was, all I need is to see their beautiful smiles and feel their little arms wrap around my neck. And I know they are happy! And God is taking care of them, just as he takes care of me.

In 1 Samuel 1, Hannah prays for a child. The Lord blesses her with a son, Samuel. "So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, 'Because I asked the LORD for him.' When the man Elkanah went up with all his family to offer the annual sacrifice to the LORD and to fulfill his vow, Hannah did not go. She said to her husband, "After the boy is weaned, I will take him and present him before the LORD, and he will live there always." (1 Samuel 1:20-22) Hannah literally gave her son, the one she longed for and prayed for, back to God. There Samuel led loved the Lord and followed him faithfully. I have often thought of this story and wondered if I would have the courage to give my son away to God. To be away from him day in and day out, to miss his life, and to not be able to tuck him in at night. I selfishly have to say that I sometimes doubt that I would be able to do so.

Over that last few months I have had to cope with significant amounts of fear and anxiety. I have become an extremely fearful person, almost paranoid of the dangers of the world and am consumed by worry about what may happen to me or my family at any given moment. I fear that if I do not get control of this situation that I could easily become a permanent hermit! I joke about this, but the thought does linger in the back of my mind.

At any rate, I digress. It has been during this time that I have developed an overwhelming fear of something happening to one of my children. I hold on to them dearly and am rarely away from them, with the exception of work. God has blessed me with two precious and beautiful children, but I must also tell you that God also blessed me with three other cherished gifts. However, He needed them in heaven before they were born. I suffered my first miscarriage before my oldest child and the other two before my youngest child. These three losses have truly shaped who I am as a mother.

Again, I digress.....One day I was thinking of Hannah (see I do have a point here:) and the sacrifice she made of her son. As I was pondering what a brave soul she was, I realized that I too have given three of my children back to the Lord. Though I didn't do it of my own accord as Hannah, I did it willingly and trusted God with them. And though my two blessings on earth are with me, I give them to the Lord on a daily basis. I trust that when I am not with them, He is there to protect them. And that when I am with them, He is still there to watch over us.

So I am learning to let go of my fears and to trust in God. For He will be there to lead us out of that dreary darkness and into His light. Lovingly, compassionately, gently, and openly. All we have to do is take His hand!

Faithful

2009-12-09T18:59:00.000-08:00

To say that I have been busy is an understatement. I decided to take a break from blogging due to so many things going on in my life. God has been doing some major transformations in my life. And though I am truly thankful for them - I am also truly exhausted from them. I have been flooded with emotions - good and bad. Even during the bad times, God has remained faithful and has held me up. Therefore, I have remained faithful - even when I thought I was going to fall over at any minute.

The last 2 years have been the most difficult of my entire life. I have endured many many hardships, heartbreaks, and heartaches! But through it all God has shown me the way - His way. He has brought me here today to testify and to give Him the glory that is due Him. Thank you Heavenly Father! By your grace I am saved - and healing.

Part of my journey has included self-exploration. And in doing so I have learned that I am weak, broken, and scared. I am fighting with everything I have but at times I feel so defeated. Unable to carrry on. And as I lay weeping on my knees, God lifted me in ways only He can! I have had more "God" moments in the last few months than I ever knew could exist for one person. And everytime one of those moments occurs I am filled with the most wonderful sense of peace and comfort. God is here - always!

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God,the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; (Isaiah 43:2,3b)

I recenly read the above scripture and it truly spoke to me. I have been through the waters, the rivers, and the fire. And I have prevailed - with God's guidance and help. I am learning to trust completely and to let go. These are not easy tasks for me, but necessary if I am going to find my way in this world and carry out God's plan for me.

God is real, he is true, and he is faithful. This I know for certain. And even though I am afraid and uncertain in my decisions, I am certain that my decisions are guided by God and I must trust him completely with no second-guessing. He is my Savior - and by his grace I am saved!

Not Me Monday

2009-08-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

In following with MckMamma's Not Me tradition, let me just tell you what I didn't do this week:

I did not drive my child to daycare only to find when we got there that he had no shoes on. Not on your life, how could an organized person like myself do such a thing! Completely absurd!

I did not bribe my child with pizza in order to get him out of bed early. Why on earth would I give my child such junk food, especially as a bribe, when I know he is a growing boy and needs his sleep. I cannot believe some parents!

I did not give in to my temptation and eat cookie dough, especially after I woke up early to exercise this morning. I mean, why would I negate the good I did at 6:30 am for some cookie dough - talk about a wasted effort!

I hope you all had a great week NOT doing anything too!

1 Corinthians 1:25

2009-08-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.

As I was doing my daily reading this morning, God brought me to this verse. It struck such a cord with me - such a simple reminder that we should NEVER doubt our ever faithful Savior. Hope it brightens your day as much as it did mine!

Quotable Sunday

2009-08-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

"PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM" by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

This song means so much to me. I can feel God speak to me each time I hear it. Over the last 3 1/2 years I have endured incredible loss, heartache, and hardship. The only way I have survived is by God's grace. He has showed me time and time again that He is the way and all I have to do is lean on Him. It is amazing how in our most troubling times we can always look to God and praise Him. Not necessarily for the grief, but for the grace and mercy He has given us to survive and to move forward. I thank God daily for the ability He has given me to get out of bed everyday and to live.

I often joke that I'm in "survival mode" due to my hectic schedule with two very active little ones. But in reality, that is exactly where I am on some days. But God always comes through and gives that me that little "something" that I need to make it through. He is an amazing God and I am so grateful that He is my Savior!

Wow!

2009-08-06T11:25:00.001-07:00

I cannot believe that it has been over three months since I last blogged. Well, let's just say that life has been quite busy, yet quiet. Odd isn't it? I do know that God has been and is continuing to work on me daily! And I do mean daily, sometimes by the minute - if you catch my drift. I am definitely in the midst of a learning period. However, I seem to be in the need of learning several different things at the moment. Which is quite bothersome to me. Am I this much of a mess? Sometimes I think yes, other times I think I am squeaking by just fine. But perhaps squeaking by is not what God has in mind. Maybe he wants me to spread my wings and fly!! If that is the case then I have quite a way to go.

Patience seems to be the thing on the top of my list right now. That and learning when to speak and when not to speak. God is definitely showing me that I need to correct some of my habits and learn how to be more gracious and accepting when waiting for things. Patience is not a virtue that comes easily for me. I guess that is why I need such a long lesson! :-)

Yesterday morning I woke up refreshed, renewed, and ready to tackle the world. This was much different than the other mornings that I usually wake up and count down the minutes until I can crawl back into bed. God spoke to me though, and showed me that all I have to do is completely surrender to Him. I do on a daily basis pray and give my troubles to God. But am I really giving them over? Or am I holding on to some portion of them because I feel I need to? And then becoming upset because my prayers haven't been answered.......the only way to true answers is complete surrender. I am learning to stop blaming others for things and to start finding the things about myself that contribute to the situation and change me first. Afterall, I control how I feel and how I let something affect me. Shouldn't that be true in my walk with God? If I am burdened, instead of letting it ruin my day, shouldn't I just give it to God, with no leftovers. He is my peace, my protector, and my leader. He will guide me and remove the evil from my life and thoughts. He will bring me to brighter days and lift me to higher mountains. He alone will show me how to love wholeheartedly and how to follow Him accordingly. It all seems so simple, yet somehow it is so difficult. What is it about control that we can't simply let go of. Why is it so controlling? And how can we let go?

"Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest". Matthew 11:28

Not Me Monday

2009-05-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

It's time for Not Me Monday. In following MckMamma's footsteps here we go:

I did not find my socks in my son's sock drawer and my son's socks in my sock drawer this morning. That would be absurd - how could anyone (let alone me) confuse my size 9 foot with my son's toddler size foot!

I did not have a nervous breakdown when both of my children decided to throw temper tantrums at precisely the same time. Afterall, I am a mother and well-equipped to handle those situations....

I did not pump breast milk for my infant while riding in the car. Who on earth would do that?!

I hope you all had a great week NOT doing anything either...........

God's Love

2009-04-22T20:43:00.000-07:00

Wow! What an emotional day. As I mentioned before I am an avid follower of MckMamma. Her son Stellan had an ablation yesterday to help cure his SVT. It has been heartbreaking for me to see this beautiful little boy go through such turmoil. This morning as I logged into her blog to learn more about his current state I found a link to Kaleigh's Story. She was born in June of 2008 and is still in the NICU. I have not had time to read her entire story but basically as of this morning they were having difficulty getting a response from her. Tests are being run to find out what is wrong.

As I read these stories my heart breaks. Why does God allow these things to happen to such beautiful and innocent babies? I don't know the answer to this, but what I do know is that God is working. He is using these stories and these families to bear witness to His miracles and love. He is using these blogs to reach out to thousands of people across the world, spreading His word and His truth. God has chosen these precious children to carry His message. And how better to carry His message than through infants, He came to this Earth as an infant.......talk about a circle of life!

As I read about and pray for these families my heart breaks. I look at my own infant daughter and cannot bear to imagine her in a state similar to these other children. I think of the complications we had when my son was born and get on my knees and thank God that it wasn't more serious. My story is not as sad as some of these other stories (and I am so thankful) but it did teach me lessons. Lessons that I will carry throughout my time here on this Earth, until I meet my Savior. And one of those lessons is that God is great. He is greater than any power on this planet and He is the source of life. We live so that He may live - I truly believe that.

Please continue to pray for these families and visit them at their blogs. They have truly amazing stories and testimonies to God's greatness.

Lord - Please be with Stellan and Kaliegh. Please be with their families. Please provide them with the strength and courage they need during this trying time. We know that their fates are in your hands, Lord. I simply pray for peace - peace of mind, a peaceful heart, and a calming peace that is only evident in your presence. I pray that you lay your hands over Stellan, Kaleigh, and their parents so that they may feel you and know that you are in control. You are an almighty God and can do great things for them and through them. Thank you for sending their messages out so that others may find you. I am so grateful that I am able to see you at work in the lives of these precious children. Thank you Lord for saving me and for forgiving me of my sins. Thank you for allowing me into your kingdom Lord.
In your precious and Holy name.....Amen.

Easy like a rainy Saturday....

2009-04-18T18:16:00.000-07:00

It has rained almost all day today. Needless to say we didn't do much. It was so nice to relax in the house and watch my son play and my daughter sleep and sit pretty. These are the best days ever! The ones where I can watch God at work through them.

I started new book last night. It is called Keeping a Princess Heart in a Not-So-Fairy-Tale World by Nicole Johnson. She must have been thinking of me when she wrote it! It is about how we as women grow up with the "fairy tale princess" dream. You know the one, where Prince Charming stays that way and the children are perfectly dressed and never dirty. We walk around in fabulous dresses and sing all day while the sun shines brightly and our flowers are always in full bloom. It doesn't take long for us to realize that is all it is - a fairy tale. Boy, Disney really did a number on us didn't he??? :-)

Well the book makes some good points that even though we may spend our days covered in spitup and our flowers have weeds and Prince Charming isn't always so charming, (though we as princesses are always so princessy), we can still turn to God to help us survive. We just have to seek Him and incorporate Him into our daily lives. This book is something I really need right now.

I have been struggling with my identity as a wife and a mother. They are roles that I am growing into and I often feel as though I need help with them. I am not always the most supportive wife or the most compassionate mother, but I am working on it. As I have said before, I am a work in progress. God continues to grace my life with love and support from friends, family, and Him.

As I write this I smile because my daughter is lying next to me smiling. She has the most beautiful smile and I am in awe every time I see it. Her big blue eyes just dance every time she flashes that smile my way. I hope and pray to be able to raise her in a way that she is able to call on God freely and to ALWAYS know that He will be there to protect her and to guide her. I hope to be the mother God wants me to be and to lead my children to Him. I hope to make them a Prince and a Princess in the kingdom of Heaven.

Thankful

2009-04-13T19:45:00.000-07:00

Today I was able to spend the day with my beautiful daughter and my ever so charming son. It was a grand day! I don't get too many days like today but when I do and I so grateful. They both amaze me. God has truly blessed me!

I was thinking last night how long it took me to get to this point in my life. God spent alot of time on me and worked so hard on me. I don't know why I waited so long to repent, again. I always prayed and talked to God, but never did the things He wanted me to do. I thought I could do it all myself. Thank you God for not giving up on me.

I believe that we can take the lessons He teaches us (when He is the parent and we are the children) and put them to use in our own children's lives. My son is 2 and he is so independent. I often find it hard to let go and let him try things on his own. But I am getting better....and am learning that he is his own individual and is capable of doing things by himself. Maybe it's because I don't want him to grow up. But growing up is part of life. Just like I had to grow in my Christian walk, my son has to grow into an adult. Right now he is still learning and discovering, just as I am as a Christian. Sometimes God lets me do things on my own, sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail. But he's always there to love and guide me. And even kiss my head when I cry. My God is such a loving God and he always shows me mercy. I hope to be able to do the same for my children on their journey of life. I hope to be the kind of parent that brings them to a deep love and relationship with Jesus. God has entrusted me with a special gift - my children. And I hope to make Him proud.

HE IS RISEN!

2009-04-12T16:20:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter! Today is such a special day....it is the day our precious Jesus rose from the grave. The day He proved who He was - our Lord and Savior! I am so thankful that He did what He did, that He died for my sins. And I am forever grateful for his forgiveness. Without it I would not be where I am today, or who I am today. His forgiveness and gift of salvation are what allow me to get through each day without breaking.

What a story......

Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jews. With Pilate's permission, he came and took the body away. He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds. Taking Jesus' body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with jewish burial costoms. At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had ever been laid. Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there. Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. so she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!" So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus' head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.")

John 19:38 - John 20:9

I believe..........do you?

Pondering....

2009-04-10T13:49:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to decide what to write my next post about. God has put many things on my heart, but at the moment he is leading me to write about children. What a gift! Do you have children? I have two and I feel enormously blessed. I have experienced so many wonderful and extraordinary things with them. I have watched them as they discover and as they learn. I cannot tell you how lucky and thankful I am that God has blessed me with them.

Over the last year or so I have been engrossed in blogs. I have especially become drawn to Bring the Rain and MckMamma. If you are not familiar with them let me update you. Angie (the author of Bring the Rain) lost a daughter about two hours after she was born. This happened one year ago this month. She has written of her grief, her love for God, and his grace and mercy on her during this time. She is the wife of Todd Smith of Selah (and if you have never heard their music I highly recommend it). She is an instrumental person in giving glory to God, even in the most difficult of times. Her devotion and faith are unsurmountable and I have an enormous amount of respect for her.

MckMamma is the mother of four beautiful children, the youngest of which is five months old. When she was 20 weeks pregnant her son Stellan was diagnosed with SVT and MckMamma was told he would not make it to birth. By God's grace he did and has blossomed into a precious child. Unfortunately the SVT has returned and he is currently in the PICU at Children's Hospital receiving treatment. Hers is also a story of faith and love. I highly recommend these blogs to you.

In keeping of with these two women's lives (both of whom I have never met by the way) I am filled with such greatness in having my two children. I too have struggled with losses and I feel that God brought me to these blogs to learn and to find support. God has greatly given to me, he has also devastatingly taken away. Both are experiences I will never forget. I have learned from them all. The song "I Will Praise You in this Storm" by Casting Crowns is one that really speaks to me. One of the verses says, "I praise the God who gives and takes away". This is something that really hits home for me. We don't always understand why God does the things that He does, but we have to trust and have faith that He is in control. And regardless of the outcome, it is a Godly outcome and in that we must find refuge.

He leads us throughout this life, no matter what. That is the bottom line. My God is one who delivers me from evil, He delivers me from trials, He delivers me.........from EVERYTHING! I have to have faith that He will always be there and that He is always at work in my life. I may not understand it or even want to experience what He has lay before me, but I have to have faith that He knows what is best and that He is going to catch me - because He knows I will fall.

How I digress......I started talking about children and ended up talking about God leading me through difficulties!! I smile as I type this because this is typical for me. I often stray and find myself stopping and saying, "Now what did I start off doing?"

To close, let me just say, that no matter what my children are my blessing and my gift from God. Without them I would be nothing. Be sure and thank God for yours tonight!

Welcome....

2009-04-03T21:46:00.000-07:00

This is my first entry. I wanted to start this blog as a memoir of my daily walk with God. I am amazed every day by God's presence. He has led me on a remarkable journey - still leading to be perfectly honest. I am a work in progress. I am learning to lean on faith and to trust in Him for all of my needs. It is not always easy, but it is always necessary.

Let me say that I am not a "new" Christian. I was raised in church, I was saved and baptized when I was eight years old. I did stray from the church scene for several years, and while I continued to pray and believe in God, I did not act as a Christian. I became involved in the typical college scene and followed that path (not proudly) for a few years. However, all that time God was working on me, I just wasn't ready to listen. He tried - but I did not give in to Him. My life was not going the way I wanted it to so I decided that maybe it was time to give His way a try. It has taken me a long time to get to this point in my relationship with Him and while I wish I would have "smartened" up sooner, I can say that I would not be the person I am today without going through all I had to go through to get here. He has taught me many things over my lifetime and continues to teach me things today. Everyday brings a new lesson and I greet each morning eager to learn.

Matthew 11:28 says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." This verse has been my saving grace. I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed it. When the world is pressing down on me and I am so numb that I cannot move, it is the one thing I can find peace in. What an invitation! Come child, I will bring you rest, I will comfort you, I will save you from this. Even thinking about it now brings a smile to my face. Such a great promise!!! No matter how difficult things get, this verse brings refuge. Refuge from a cold, unforgiving, unfriendly, heartless circumstance. God knows how weary we can become, He knows when we have reached our limits and He tells us to turn to Him. He can provide the rest and solitude we need when we most need it. All we have to do is seek Him.

One of my other favorite verses is Phillipians 4:6 which says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, presnet your requests to God." Again He tells us, present your requests to me. It's so simple, yet so difficult for me to understand. How can I trust? How do I know you will provide? It was during these times that God told me, Have faith my child, trust in me. It took me many years to trust in Him completely, and although it is still a struggle it is something I know I must do in order for Him to work in my life. I would never have been able to see the amazing things that He has done for me if I didn't trust Him completely to lead me.

I hope that this blog will allow me and the readers to develop a more intimate relationship with God and to bring praise to His works. I look forward to seeing how God works on these pages. Please feel free to comment, question, discuss, and pray.